DISAPPEAR TO CREATE

I must vanish to write,

step softly into shadows where no one seeks, a hermit in the hollows of my mind, where thoughts breathe louder than voices and silence carries the weight of storms

Here, the mirror waits, not of glass but of memory, reflecting every scar, every joy, demanding I see what I have tried to hide, a relentless inventory of my life, held captive by the truths I cannot escape

It is not pen to page, not yet. It is first the digging, the descent, through years of laughter, years of ache, unfolding like brittle leaves pressed in forgotten books

This is triple reflection: the self I was, the self I am, the self I dare to imagine

There is despair in the emptiness of beginnings, in pages that stare blankly back, mocking my every hesitation. And then, the other despair:

The torrent of too much, words spilling faster than I can catch them, ideas flooding my trembling hands

I dance alone to shake the weight, bend my body to the shape of surrender, stretch my soul in yoga’s quiet defiance

Tears fall unbidden, sometimes for the beauty of a sentence, sometimes for its brutal demand

Distractions are a thief with clever hands,I have let them take too much

Now, I lock the door, turn from the world, and give myself to the wilderness of thoughtIt is here I build, alone but not lonely, confronting the raw materials of my existence

And when the words are forged and shaped ,I will return, offering the world not perfection, but truth: the unvarnished gift of my soul, crafted in silence, born of fire.